Mom and Dad, this one is exclusively for you.
If you are desiring to keep the burning desires of your love burning brightly and lively (including in the bedroom), or you want to start up the flames of passion after having children, you are in the right place!
It is important to know that even though you have become a stellar parent and you have your children residing in the home, it doesn’t mean the romance goes on the back burner for the next 18 years (or longer if there’s more than one)! It’s also imperative to realize that the husband and wife are the first family. When children start showing up, regard them as the little add-ons that bring additional joy, love, and fun into the mix of the original family, the husband, and wife. It’s important to inform the children about the importance of “mom and dad” time. Not only will it keep the strong bond between man and wife, naturally increasing the respect between you two, but it will also be a blanketed cushion of security for the children.
Here are some “alone” time tips below to keep up the romance and the integrity of the “first family” of husband and wife.
Tip: The only catch is to truly be alone!
1. Date Night
This is probably the easiest one, however, the most abused tip too. Why? Because, even though you are without the kids, some parents then surround themselves with 50 strangers being on a date at a restaurant or at a movie! So instead, keep the date night perspective, however, strive to do something truly alone.
- Have the kids stay the night at a friends/grandparent’s home
- Visit a secluded location overlooking the city, beach, hiking area (day or night)
- Go for a drive in a new area with minimal traffic
- Go on a picnic during a time it’s least likely busy
2. Take a shower
Together. You need to anyway. So save a few pennies on the water bill and do it together. Simply inform the children mom and dad are indisposed, making sure they are in a safe location in the home and take a shower. Whatever happens…happens.
3. Twilight Walk
The great thing about alone time is that it doesn’t always have to cost money. Once the children are in bed, simply grab your comfortable shoes, your spouse’s hand and go. Ideally, you’ll want to keep the physical contact of hand-holding during the whole walk, lightly caressing their hand as well.
4. Make Time
For foreplay. Intimacy in marriage is a deep and spiritual way to connect with your spouse physically. Take your time valuing, enjoying and be-ing with each other. You are each other’s desires and there was a physical reason why you decided to be together. If it’s necessary, literally schedule in your “time” together. After all, it’s the anticipation that can keep the bedroom time together….exciting.
5. Hot Communication
Nothing keeps a couple strong and in love than communication. Even the slightest misunderstanding can cause a rift in your intimacy and overall relationship. So, what should you do? Over-communicate in a way that is effective. A simple way to do this is to repeat back to your spouse what you believe they are saying to you. It’s a technique called, Mirroring. It’s very refreshing to see yourself (what you want to convey to your spouse) in them, feeling understood, respected and heard. Just go back and forth during a conversation (even the easy ones for practice) repeating in your own words what you believe they are saying to you; you’re responding in a way that is showing them that you understand what they are conveying to you.
If you are a new or veteran parent, take time for your marriage and your spouse. They are your first date, your love, your first family; use the above tips to make them (and you) feel that way! It’s important to have parents continue to communicate, make a date night, listen to one another and reconnect constantly for a joyous and loving marriage.