I have been hidden for far too long and I’m talking about hiding myself from me. Can any other woman relate? Being married has had its share of ups and downs (too many downs in my opinion, but…), and to my amazement…it took 14 years to get to where I can say…I’m happy and so in love…THIS is marital bliss!! AND I don’t have to deny who I AM any longer. How freeing that feels! AND, I don’t wear “the many hats” of a wife and mother. Is this a myth or label anyway?
I was married so young. Had a child so young. Had no CLUE so young! My marriage has been rough, to say the least. But, because we have overcome so much, I decided to put it to words and write a book. Not only has the book brought my husband to tears, but many showers of accolades followed his love. It is a tough book to reread, edit and put into words, but it makes me more and more in love with him every day.
My marriage journey of uncertainty was masked under the guise of the realization that I wore “many hats” and thus I became: mom, doctor, gourmet chef, chauffeur, lover, friend, director, wife, care-taker, engineer, story-teller, and yada yada yada yada.
Yes, I participate in those activities for my family…but is that ME? Am I those “hats”??
I’m no longer hindered, hiding, shamed, regretful, resentful, or hurt by my past. AND, I don’t feel restricted or labeled as a “hat” wearer. As a matter of fact…I feel empowered, sensual, free, loved, appreciated, humbled and beautiful to my groom and in my life. Without any hats on! Not only has my marriage thrived from being barely survivable, but it has also shown me that I am so much more than JUST a bride and mom. Yes, I may seem to wear many “hats”, but I feel as those “hats” are another label of who I “should be”, instead of who I am.
I. Am. Andi.
I encompass all that I want to be and all that I KNOW I am yet to be…as a woman; AS a sensual woman & bride.
Ohhhhhhh, yeah I said it!!! And I’ll say it again…Sensual….
Now, contrary to popular belief…sensuality is NOT solely based upon sexual connotations. Quite the contrary, I believe. After all, the true meaning is: to take pleasure in one’s senses.
To hear the laughter of my children…
To see the memories of my life…
To touch the delicate skin of my newborn..
To taste the spoils of the earth…
To smell the fragrance of the seasons…
THAT is sensuality at play in my life. I take full, ashamed pleasure in my life and my life is unchained by the world’s standards.
Beautiful brides and sisters in marriage…how may I help you explore, discover and embrace your worth, creating a marriage full of blissful moments while you live your lifestyle without judgment (and all those ‘hat’ labels)?
Like a butterfly, my true form was perfectly encased in a cocoon of perfection (not under a “hat” label for a moment in time). However, like me, until you realize that you have yet to burst free and let your wings take you to new, exciting, scary and wonderfully uncharted territory…what are you missing out on? What are you denying yourself for fear of judgment, or wearing a “hat” those around you expect you to wear? What is keeping you from bursting forth, Beautiful Bride?
Go. Get. You.
You may wear the bride and mom hat (or any hat for that matter) – just know that it does not define you.
Not every woman will decide burst forth and fly into her being. It’s scary, unknown & may even seem controversial to your beliefs (and to society’s). And to top it off, everyone will judge me (and you) while proudly wearing their “hat”. And yet…
How…Free. I Am.
Because I am, Andi.
No regrets, no judgment, no shame. ~No hats!
WHO YOU ARE is what matters vs the hat or label placed upon you, either by someone, society or even yourself (I was totally guilty of this). I still do those things…but it’s not who I am. 🙂
Unsure about your own Sensuality and breaking free? Take the Quiz.
And boy…do I still LOVE my food! 🙂
What say you??
Comment below on how you see yourself ‘wearing many hats’.