Apparently, this question must be asked because somehow my uterus and what comes out of it is of your utmost concern.
It’s not about:
My beliefs, my faith, my body, my marriage, my other children, my livelihood, my health, my happiness, or anything about me.
It’s really about you.
This may come across harsh, or just plain truthful, but the fact of the matter is… when I get asked this question… it has nothing to do with me. Most people don’t even listen to my answer as they immediately interrupt to rattle on about the world, their views and how they see their life. What they can or cannot do, handle or tolerate.
I’m always wondering then… “Why did they even ask me? They’re not listening.”
So, I ask myself… “How does my uterus effect your life?”
I mean, that’s what the conversation is really about, right?
Perhaps it’s how my multiple births makes you feel.
Here’s what I mean. This may not pertain to you, but maybe you’ve seen/felt this in others if you have a “large” family.
You can’t “do it”, so neither should I.
That’s right. Some people feel like they can’t handle the ins and outs of conception, pregnancy, birth and child-rearing so if they feel inadequate to do so, then ridiculing or questioning someone who can seems logical. You’ll hear this in how they talk, the phrases they use, the burden and stress they exhibit with having many children. It may sound like it comes across as concern… but no. It’s not concern…it’s the sad feeling of inadequacy. And no body wants to feel that way. Including myself.
I’m not judging here… it’s simply the observations I see as the feelings and the need to hide the weakness with opinions, thoughts and wisdom for my uterus.
In this respect, how my uterus affects you: It makes you feel inadequate on some level.
You feel responsible.
Ummm, for what, exactly?? Oh, right, like if something goes wrong, the children are your burden now. Trust me, if my awesome brood of offspring are a burden to you, YOU are not the beneficiary.
Many children does not equal welfare for me from your hard earned paychecks. So chill.
In this respect, how my uterus affects you: You think you are paying for them somehow.
You can’t be there for me or them.
I love family, however, they really do feel like they have a responsibility to always be there and support us. Well, you don’t. I’m not asking you to. I’m not asking you to do anything outside of what God is calling you to do in your life. If you are reluctant to His calling… hey, that’s a whole ‘nother post!
Some of my family members aren’t as “youthful” as they once felt, and along with inadequacy up there, they may feel like they can’t “keep up” with all the new youngsters coming their way.
Guess what? I’m not asking you to.
How any family member, friend, or acquaintance feels about their own health is their responsibility. If you aren’t in the best of shape (and I don’t care how old you are… it’s the choices in your life that will keep you vibrant and lively, or sickly and depressed), that is something you have to deal with and own up to. No one made you unable to be there for those you love except you (yes, extenuating circumstances do apply – accidents for example. That’s not what I’m talking about here).
In this respect, how my uterus affects you: You won’t live to see them grow up and that makes you feel guilty because you know your health is failing, so I need to stop before you can’t enjoy them anymore.
Am I done yet?
“Be fruitful and multiply.”
Your faith is not my faith.
Your life is not my life.
Your path, goals, desires, dreams, passions and children are not mine.
If you don’t understand my faith, then let the wisdom of silence give you peace.
If you don’t understand my faithfulness to obedience, then let your life be louder than my silence.
If you feel the negative emotions as described above, then know I love you just the way you are.
Jeff and Andi…
Psalm 37:25-26
I was young and now I am old,
yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken
or their children begging bread.
26 They are always generous and lend freely;
their children will be a blessing.
Psalm 127:3-4
Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them.
If you don’t understand a reward from God Himself, then take with you the literal knowledge that I do. You don’t have to understand it.
If you don’t know what it means to be blessed, then I’ll tell you:
…which means to be happy or blissful, but it also means a self-contained happiness.
If you don’t understand why I want to be blessed, then maybe you never have been.
Am I done yet?
Were you listening?
Has anyone EVER questioned your family size (even about having MORE kids)?
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