Think of everything you possibly have to do in a week. A. Full. Week. Every little detail down to taking the lent out of the dryer (you forgot that one huh?) Now take those tasks and put it into a 24-hour block and get it ALL done…one day. Easy-peasy right? Just set a timer and go! After all, that’s what it feels like when we constantly think ahead to the next task at hand before the one we’re working on is even finished. So, done in one day…No problem… If you aren’t human!
But, fortunately, we are human and that’s just not going to happen. If you’re anything like my husband, you have a “To Do” mental list and a list on your phone. And it’s constantly getting pushed back week to week filling up his notes tab backed by the affirmation, “I didn’t get anything done this weekend… yet again.”
It’s almost become automatic to say that every weekend, defeating himself before (or even acknowledging) the accomplishments he did complete or the quality family time made up from the hours at work all week long. Without those praises ringing in his ears (despite what I say), overwhelm and the worry of a deadline is more powerful than a few words of encouragement. If you’re reading this, I bet you know exactly what I mean and is all too familiar. So what do you do before you completely burnout?
What really needs your attention? Is it facebook, twitter, youtube, emails, a TV series? You’ll be amazed how these ‘necessary distractions’ suck up your time leaving you feeling like you aren’t getting much done in your day or week. If this must be on your daily task list, then set a timer no longer than 30 minutes. Seriously, if you are overwhelmed with all you have to do, do you really need more time than that??
Now that your social needs are met, what’s next? What is REALLY necessary and what could be put off till the weekend or delegated to someone else? What’s most important? Getting caught up in busyness without accomplishments just clouds our thinking and leads to more feelings of inadequacy to finish tasks. Quiet the negative self-talk and feel how you want to feel. Feel what needs to be done and why you should do it in order for you to feel complete in your day. Try not to make that “list” longer than 2-5 tasks. Each task shouldn’t take you longer than 45 minutes to complete. If it takes longer than that, shorten your list…and don’t feel guilty about it once it’s completed and you still have time. That ‘s time to be you and only you without the stress of overwhelm…so relax.
*Let not the unimportant, time-consuming tasks mask the needs of what you feel is best for you.
Oil It/Meditate/Shut out the world
Anoint thyself with oil. Sandalwood oil that is. Researchers believe that certain scents can help invoke calm or peaceful feelings, resulting in an overall reduction in stress and overwhelm. Sandalwood has a similar effect as lavender when it comes to calming the body as well as increasing focus, mental clarity, and balance.
Use sandalwood essential oil when you want to take your time to relax or to focus on your list of 2-3 items to accomplish. Either apply 2-3 drops in a carrier oil and apply to wrists and ankles or inhale. Allow the aroma to give you a sense of calm, peace and clarity on what you need to do and why. This is also a great time to use the aroma (sniffing it straight from the bottle) for quiet meditation time or your private time to journal. Let your feelings come forth without hindrance or judgment.
Shut out the world and relax. Sometimes you may just need to walk away, knowing everyone is in a safe place, and lock yourself in your room (maybe even the closet! ~Moms know what I’m talking about). Literally, shut out the world for a few moments, life will go on and it will go on peacefully in your absence while you recoup, re-energize and re-evaluate your priorities.
We all could use a reality check now and then. When you set out to accomplish everything you need to do in a day, what do you truly expect to happen? Are you setting yourself up for defeat, negative self-talk and judgment? Or have you come to the realization that today…it’s okay not to be Superwoman’s (or Superman’s) little sister/brother? Are you okay knowing that a To Do list of 15-20 items while running a household, a demanding job or business or needing sleep is unrealistic?
This goes back to prioritizing. However, this time, let’s really focus on what’s really going to happen in a day. If you manage to eat, use the restroom, keep the kids alive if you have some, and the house didn’t burn down…do you realize that you are already ahead of the game!!! Don’t forget to not take advantage of what you keep going day in and day out.
What’s really going to happen today? Tomorrow and yesterday aren’t today, so don’t worry about that. You cannot control the time, the day and the unexpected, but you CAN control how you feel about today and what you want to do with it.
Give Up (Control) & Set Boundaries
(Say no, ask for help)
I was absolutely uncomfortable with not being in total control and having to ask for help. “How do you do it with all of those kids!? I have 2 and I’m about to lose my mind!!!” Easy…I stopped wanting all the control. If someone asked me if they could help, I said yes! If I didn’t want to do something, I gave up the control feeling of “I have to” and said no, I’m not. Give up trying to do it all. How does it benefit you in the long run (by the end of the day) if you did absolutely Every. Thing?
The hardest thing I find most people have difficulty with is saying “no”. You don’t want to feel like you don’t care or like you aren’t involved or for other personal reasons; sometimes even feeling like you’re being judged if you don’t say “yes”.
Reality Check: You can’t control someone else’s reactions to your boundaries of self-care.
You have a right to care for yourself. If you find yourself feeling guilty about setting boundaries and giving up some control, go back and read #2 above. Use the oil, journal if you need to. Feeling your feelings is healthy and healing, instead of trying to stuff them down into the guilt pit of your stomach. Even if it’s anger. Feel it, except you feel that way, and then release it. Losing some control, accepting help and setting healthy boundaries will remarkably lower your overwhelm in no time!
Just Chill & Really Let It Go
(Tapping for relaxation)
Easier said than done, I mean if you could just turn off your brain and relax we wouldn’t have stress issues or the feeling of overwhelm! So let me help you out here. I get it, there’s A LOT going on in your life and despite the fabulous suggestions above (I know, I’m biased), you still feel like it’s not working for you. I’ve started daily…well, almost daily tapping sessions with my two oldest children to help them cope with growing up. Literally, my son is just freaking out with his upcoming responsibilities of having to care for himself in just a couple of short years. And my daughter…lovely she is, she still needs a bit of help to “let go” of stuffed down emotions. In order to calm them and help them through these devastating teen years, we use EFT, Emotional Freedom Technique, aka Tapping.
Life happens and we will experience positive emotions or negative emotions every day. How you process those emotions determines if they get ‘stuck’ or released. As you can see in the diagram to the left, our negative self-talk begins in our heads, aka Limiting Beliefs. The events in our lives can weigh down on our shoulders and back. The emotions we feel comes from our heart. The pit, the emptiness, the pain and so much more can manifest itself in our gut as symptoms. EFT helps to release, relieve and re-balance your body so you can get back to being the awesome you…completely unhindered and most of all…overwhelm & worry free!
Join me now for a quick overview on how to perform EFT (super easy!!) and start tapping.
Take a look at the diagram below so you’ll recognize the tapping points as I go through them. Here.
TH = Top of Head
EB = Eyebrow Point
SE = Side of Eye
UE = Under Eye
UN = Under Nose
CH = Chin Poin
CB = Collar Bone
UA = Under Arm (approx. 4″ below arm pit)
KC = Karate Chop Point
Listen now to a short tapping session Listen now to a short tapping session to help you get relief from the feelings and worry of overwhelm so you can function more clearly.
What you can expect:
First, you’ll decide how overwhelmed you feel (so you get an idea of the changes you’ll experience). Then we’ll start with an affirmation statement on the Karate Chop Point (which consists of a statement of acceptance of your current feelings). Then I will guide you through the points saying short phrases; usually, they are negative, don’t be alarmed, this is part of the acceptance and release process. We’ll end the session with some new ideas of how overwhelm can be less of a nuisance in your life. Listen Now & Tap Along. Listen Now & Tap Along.
How did it go? Tell me about your experience in the comments below!
Until next time…
Breathe & R-E-L-A-X!!!
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Disclaimer: All information contained herein is for educational purposes only. Use the information at your own discretion seeking professional medical care as needed.